Time and Tide by alyse [ - ]
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Category: Miscellaneous
Characters: Other
Rating: PG-13
Genres: Angst
Warnings: None

Summary: Jacob is aware of sin. Both of his fathers taught him well.

Fandom: Stranded

Story Notes:
Stranded is a movie I acquired because Andrew-Lee Potts (Connor Temple) is in it, and in this movie he again proves that the characters he plays tend to have bad and wrong chemistry with familial/quasi-parental characters - yes, Nick Cutter, I'm looking at you. In this movie, it's with the eventual captain of a pirate ship, Thomas Blunt, who does all of the inappropriate touching.

Written for MMoM. Thanks to temaris for the beta read. Be warned - this is rather an angsty fic

Spoilers: For the whole movie

Jacob is aware of the existence of sin. How could he not be? His father - his real one - is a man of the cloth, after all, and he'd never doubted the presence of God in his life. At least, not in the life he had before.

He's seen enough since to doubt it occasionally. Seen a lot of men die, often at the Captain's - at Thomas' - hand. Some of them quick, some of them slow. Some of them at the end of Jacob's sword.

None of them, as far as Jacob can tell, died in a state of grace.

He doesn't fit any more. These thoughts, they're just a part of it. His family's faith has never wavered but it's been easy for them. They were together, able to hold on to each other. All Jacob had to keep him afloat was Thomas, and even as a child, he was aware enough that there was an equal chance that Thomas would pull him down.

Thomas was kind. Some of the time. His fingers were rough and so was his soul, but there were flashes, there, of the man he could have been if he'd been less inclined to fall into temptation. He saved Jacob's life and in return Jacob had tried to save his soul - to keep Thomas afloat from everything that was dragging him down.

It hadn't been enough.

He closes his eyes and listens to the sound of his brothers' breathing - Fritz in the lower bunk below him, a soft snuffling breath as he lies still, his wound not yet completely healed, and Ernst outside on the matting. He's used to sleeping with others but there is no wind and the bed doesn't rock beneath him.

He can't sleep - the sound of the sea is too far and there is a heavy lump in his chest where his heart used to be.

He'd fit with Thomas in a way he will never, ever be able to explain. He doesn't try because no one is listening. His family loved him once, but the hole he left was that of a nine-year-old boy. Jacob hasn't been that boy for a long time and they don't - can't - understand that. He tries but he no longer fits and they refuse to see it. Or perhaps they don't.

Mother and Father want to send him away from them, send him out into the real world to make his own way when they've only just found each other again. He's been making his own way since he was nine. Seven years with only Thomas to guide him, and Thomas had never ever pointed to true north.

Jacob's aware of the existence of sin. Is intimately acquainted with it in a way that would break his Mother's heart and harden his Father's against him. Thomas was a good teacher in that, at least.

But Thomas is dead and gone, and in dying has cast him adrift. So Jacob closes his eyes - closes them tightly, so tightly that he can hold back the tide - and pretends for a moment that the hand that holds him is coarser and harder, with calluses from a sword that Jacob hasn't yet earned in spite of his lessons.

But there's no holding back the tide, and the salt water escapes to run down his face. All Jacob can do is close his eyes and pretend that the hand isn't his.

All Jacob can do is sin.

The End

Chapter End Notes:
Disclaimer: I believe that Hallmark are the copyholders for this movie, which is based on Johann David Weiss' Swiss Family Robinson. With added slash. Oh, who am I kidding? The Bad and Wrongness is all down to me.